The Night Before Christmas At Hogwarts
by Ms-Figg
Summary: A Naughty Lemony XXXmas Poem Parody by MsFigg COMPLETE, MF, PWP
1. The Night Before Christmas at Hogwarts

**A/N: I put this together while bemoaning my lack of cherry cigars this morning. Sigh. Anyway, it contains explicit adult content/graphic sex. But, I hope the twist isn't too twisted. Lol. Happy holidays all. 888  
**

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**The Night Before Christmas (At Hogwarts)  
**_A Lemony XXXmas Parody by MsFigg_

'Twas the night before Christmas, when out of the dungeons  
billowed Severus Snape in search of curmudgeons,  
prowling and combing the corridors with care,  
in hopes that some rule breakers would be caught there.  
Most students were nestled all snug in their beds  
at their homes.(Thank Merlin for few dunderheads.)  
But Hermione Granger and her little Ronnikins,  
had remained at the castle to commit their first sins.

When out of a niche there arose such a clatter,  
Snape strode down the hall to see what was the matter.  
Away to the dark niche he flew like a flash,  
hissed the word 'Lumos' . . . saw Ron's pale ass,  
the wizard preparing to 'give her a go,'  
Hermione G. sighing as he fumbled below.  
When, what to Ron's horrified eyes should appear,  
but the master of Potions, his mouth in a sneer.

The dark wizard stunned him so fast and so quick,  
Ron barely had time to retuck his prick.  
More rapid than Thestrals, the closer Snape came,  
undoing his robes, as he called her by name  
"Miss Granger, how naughty . . . you tart little vixen  
but I truly know how to break a young minx in  
a dark little niche with her back to the wall!  
I'll stroke away, slam away, making you squall!"

Hermione's lips parted, a hot light in her eye,  
and Severus smirked as he pulled down his fly,  
first binding Weasley, who did not have a clue  
purring, "Sorry young wizard, this party's for two."  
And then, in a twinkling, he pulled out his cock.  
It was pale. It was dripping. It was hard as a rock.  
Snarling, he twisted Hermione around,  
bent the witch over and started to pound.

He kicked her legs wider with one booted foot,  
driving twelve hungry inches into her tight shute.  
He gathered her hair in a fist from her back,  
and bounced off her buttocks, his mouth going slack  
His eyes -- how they narrowed! His expression how scary!  
His pale member streaked with the juice of her cherry!  
Hermione's small mouth was drawn up like a bow,  
and the more that she screamed, the deeper he'd go.

Snape pumped her tight snatch, lips drawn from his teeth.  
Her pink flesh encircled his wand like a wreath;  
He fondled her breasts and he petted her belly.  
Her buttocks, they jiggled as if full of jelly.  
They were chubby and plump as she fingered herself,  
and Severus Snape was enjoying himself  
with that long lustful tool and that thick, bulbous head.  
He pumped and he stroked 'til the witch was half-dead

He spoke not a word, but he finished his work,  
and filled her hot twat with a groan and a jerk.  
He drew a deep breath, the scent plying his nose,  
pulled up his trousers and fixed his dark clothes.  
He kissed the young witch, a sweet parting gesture.  
She'd be back for more, of that fact he was quite sure.  
Snape heard Ron exclaim, ere he strode out of sight,  
"Hermione! What happened? Gods, you look a fright!"

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**MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!**


	2. Hermione the Gryffindor Princess

A/N: Yep, nothing new on Yuleride yet but I am going to try and have the next chapter posted by tomorrow. In the meantime, lol, I've perverted another classic . . . but a song this time. Read it, or better yet sing it.

**Hermione the Gryffindor Princess**  
_(Sung to the tune of Ruldoph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)_

There was Harry and Ronald and Draco and Albus  
Blaise and Goyle and Crabbe and Argus  
But the wizard who answered the call  
Was the snarkiest wizard of allllllll

Hermione the Gryffindor Princess  
had a very brilliant mind  
and if you ever saw it  
you would even say it shiiiined

All of the other students  
used to use her for her brain  
then they'd pair off in couples  
Leaving her alone again

Then one foggy Christmas Eve  
Snapey came to say  
"Hermione with your bum so tight,  
How about a shag tonight?"

Then how the wizard shagged her  
Hermione shouting out with glee  
Hermione the Gryffindor Princess  
Is getting shagged as shagged can beeeeee

(Bows)


	3. Twelve Days of Christmas WriteAlong

A/N: All right. I started on the 12 days of Christmas (as sung by Hermione) I have a bit of it, but I'd LOVE to see what you all would add, SOOOOOO I'm putting up the first three verses and want to see what sick, twisted and hilarious things you add . . . so go crazy. I need a laugh tonight Please use the review board for your additions.

**The 12 Days of Christmas** (As Sung by Hermione Granger)

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

**

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NOW, TAKE IT AWAY YA"LL!!! lololol.**

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On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me[  
INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
[INSERT LYRICS HERE a three-fingered popping, two rim jobs and an orgasm that made me go SQUEEEEEE!


End file.
